Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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