During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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