What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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