Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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