it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize