i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
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My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
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But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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