If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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