He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize