would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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