I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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