Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
it hurts more in the daytime
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
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What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
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I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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