we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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