i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize