i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize