This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize