the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
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What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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