Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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