Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
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The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
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And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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