All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
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I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
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Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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