hell yes lets make some ravioli
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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