My Higher Power is John Stamos
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
How external is "for external use only"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize