We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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