first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize