Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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