***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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