She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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