Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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