Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize