This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
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What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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