i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize