im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My bed smells like the plague
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