I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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