i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just forgot I was standing up.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize