i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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