God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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