And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So squirting runs in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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