I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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