I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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