I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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