So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
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She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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