I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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