I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize