I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I look better un-naked...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize