It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I think I just sharted jello shots
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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