am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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