you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Quick, to the slutcave!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
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with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
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They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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