Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize