Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
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Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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