she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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