what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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